Thursday, February 9, 2012

That's Amore

Gee - where to begin?

Have you heard about the 5 Languages of Love?

You can read all about the languages here, but the general premise is:
"Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch."
It is no secret, to those of you who know me well, that the love language I most identify with is "Acts of Service."  It might be the least romantic of the group, but is the one that works best for me... that is, it is the one I most like to receive.

For example, I remember a time when Dear Husband and I were dating... he worked 90 minutes from my house.  One day I was feeling particularly overwhelmed at work and was not looking forward to adding a trip to the grocery store to my already-too-long day.  After reviewing the types of items I needed (peanut butter, bread, and stuff) with pre-Dear Husband we got off of the phone.  When I arrived home that evening, a grocery bag of my exact grocery items was waiting for me at my door step.  He left work, drove all the way to my town, bought the groceries, and left them on my door step.  {{Ladies - back up - this man is ALL mine.}} 

Fast forward past the wedding and, now, three kids... and onto a recent Valentine's Day.  We were both talking on the phone on the way home and the conversation went something like this.

{{me - rushing to get the kids home and get dinner started}}  So, where are you now?

I'm turning into the Target parking lot?

What are you getting at Target?  {{Thinking... are you kidding me - we have so much to get done at home and you will miss dinner.}}

Something special.  I meant to leave work early but I got tied up.  I want to get you a card and your favorite conversation heart candies.

Nope.  Forget the card and the candies.  Come home.

But you will be mad.

No I will not be mad.

Yes, you will.  I want to get something special for you.

Seriously - if you turn that car around right now and meet me at the house then I will be happy.  I promise.  No card.  No candy.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just come home.  {{And he did... and I was totally happy.}}

Today, I took the love language quiz online, to see what it says.

Here is how I answered some key questions:

Hahaha... so the last one isn't really "service" related, but I'm fairly argumentative and it totally fits me.
Want to know my final score?

In short, I scored twice as high for "Acts of Service" than any other category in the list.  Also, "receiving gifts" is my least favorite way to be loved.  {{This is great because we don't have any money anyway.}}

What does Dr. Chapman have to say about Acts of Service?
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Let's repeat that again... ahem... "Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an 'Acts of Service' person will speak volumes."

This is great for my husband and me because he is a natural-born helper.  Really - he would be a helper no matter who he married - it just so happens that he married moi and I totally give him big points for all of his helpfulness!  Yay! 

This might also explain why I flew off the handle when he didn't come home in time for me to go to a parent meeting at my kids' school the other night.  {{I do mean flew off the handle.}}  His "broken commitment" to come home on time and help with the kids made me feel like I don't matter.  Bingo!  {{For gosh sakes... I can't expect the man to be perfect... can I?}}

Seriously - I read the 5 Love Languages for Married Couples, and now I'm on the 5 Love Languages for Teens which was recommended by my moms group.   I'll talk more about loving my teen on another day.

So... this is your homework. 
{{Yep... I'm giving out homework now.}}  

come back and tell me which one fits you.


SusieQ said...

Quality time and physical touch right behind it.. and that's me..

SusieQ said...

Quality time and physical touch right behind it.. and that's me..