Dear Husband likes to ride motorcycles… like Harley Davidson motorcycles. {{gasp}}
And, each Spring his brothers and some close friends go on a bike ride to… wherever the road takes them. Like, they each pack a one-man tent and very few clothes {{or toiletries}}… and ride with the wind. They have a blast… however, it sounds like pure torture to me.
Some years Dear Husband goes on the trip and some years he doesn’t. Last year, he didn’t go on the trip… because we needed him to stay home and work. I have a government job, so I can use leave to go on vacation… and I still get paid. He is a real estate agent… so if he isn’t working then he isn’t getting paid… and money is tight… to say the least.
Important FACT – my baby is due the end of April… and my babies ALWAYS come late {{very late}}… so I am expecting a beginning of May baby.
{{ahem}}
A few weeks ago Dear Husband approached me about taking an early May bike trip with the guys. {{See Important FACT, noted above.}} In short, his closing argument was, “I wouldn’t care if you went on a girl’s trip and left me with a newborn, so why should you care if I go.” Ummm… after I picked my chin up off of the floor… I went to bed… and the next morning, I told him to pack his crap and his
The May bike trip has now turned into a July bike trip. In truth, I want him to go on the trip. He totally deserves to go… no one is more deserving than he is. He loves his brothers. This is a great bonding trip for them. He NEVER goes anywhere and he is always there for me… and there for the kids… and he dotes on me… and he dotes on the kids… he is like the Energizer bunny… or the Giving Tree… he gives and gives and gives of himself… and his time… and his heart… day in and day out… and doesn’t ask for anything in return… except… for… maybe… one… annual… trip… with … the boys… his dear and wonderful… brothers. {{sigh}}
I’m so selfish. This means that I will have to spend 7-8 days… by myself… without Dear Husband… and I’ll still have somewhat sleepless nights… and toting around the newborn… and dealing with Bro… while still trying to occupy a preteen… early mornings… late nights… middle of the nights… sweltering summer humidity… for… a… whole… week… with… NO… break… and… all… by… MYSELF! {{on the floor throwing a fit like a baby – just picture it}} Can’t this trip wait… like 5 more years… when the kids are a bit more… manageable? {{Is that too much to ask?}}
But I want him to go… and so… last night… I said “yes.” {{And I was like… nice… and sincere too.}} And he was silent – but giggling like a child, deep down inside, I know. I will put on my big girl pants and make it through one measly week with my children {{1 newborn, 1 terrible-two, and 1 preteen… the PERFECT storm}} by myself… because it is my turn to give back… don’t you agree?
9 comments:
All by your little lonesome? I am sure you can call some back up from the neighborhood next to yours! :-)
Good for you being unselfish and giving! In July, I can see...still difficult but doable. I early May, not so much....
By July, yes, you can. Just think of me, many (MANY!) moons ago.. with your mother as a baby, a 1-year old boy and a 2-year old girl.. and their father overseas. Also, add in there we had no washer/dryer, microwave or crockpot.. had to pack up the kids and laundry and go to the community WRINGER washer area to do clothes and then hang them out on the line. And there were a LOT of diapers.. didn't have those plastic thingys yet.. I am positive with the washer/dryer and close by backup you can make it.. cheerfully!!! Don't let him go if you are going to make him feel guilty when he comes home! Just make sure little Miss NoName is at least 6 weeks old when he goes...
SusieQ - I'm committed to NOT making him feel guilty... that ruins all of the fun. I could not imagine... 3 kids under the age of 3... AND cloth diapers... AND no washer/dryer... yuck!
I am extremely blessed to have such wonderful "neighbors." If only I could find someone to take over the middle of the night breastfeeding... hmmm...
You are:
a) Incredibly giving.
b) Also incredibly brave.
I just want you to know up front that you are my new hero. That and I hope he has fun!
I know July will be crazy, but on the flip side of things, when I was your pre-teen's age, I loved when only one parent was around for a few days. I liked helping out and feeling like I was all grown-up! =P
Please note before reading that this is NOT me trying to be mean but just pointing out an alternative that people sometimes over look :) - you know i see how this would be ever so distressing and i think that the choice you made is the one you should of and i commend you for that BUT think about it this way. thank god that he is only going to be gone for a week and is on a "fun" trip AND that you live so close to a support system AKA mom and dad :) Picture this . . . . you live in some faraway state away from your family and lifelong friends, you are about to have a baby and your husband gets deployed to WAR for 6 month to a year . . . not a "fun" relatively "safe" brother bonding trip . . . be glad you have the option to say yes or no
MK - I couldn't agree more. I live in an area with PLENTY of military families who have NO support systems and... truthfully... I say this all of the time... I have no idea how they do it.
Sounds like a fantastic time for Lulu to chip in and learn a little bit about the reality of little babies and keeping the balls in the air. For a week or so, it should be an adventure for her, rather than an onerous task.
I reckon it's also really good for kids getting close to their teen years to realise that there are times when adults can't just do everything required, and that they need help. It makes it easier for them to recognise when they need help and to know it's ok to ask for it when they grow up.
Wow, that was a bit serious, wasn't it? But I think you have, without a doubt, done the right thing. I also think it could be a really good week for you and Lulu. :)
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