I'm still here... (a.k.a. be careful what you wish for)

Let's see... I'm steaming mad and I've been up all night.  I watched two rerun episodes of Survivor that I missed so I am all caught up on that.  I tried to go back to sleep.  It didn't work.  I've been on the computer ever since.

It is 5:26 a.m. and the birds are starting to chirp... just in case you were wondering.

Where to begin...

I rescheduled my doctor's appt (the one I missed because I didn't want to see Dr. do-as-i-say-and-don't-ask-questions).  I saw my favorite doctor yesterday (Monday) at 4:00.  While I was waiting in the exam room, I could hear lots of discussion in the hallway about the fact that the hospital still doesn't have room for me for an induction.

My favorite doctor came in and gave me the news which one of my friends affectionately refers to as "no room in the inn."  That is, there are way too many women coming in for a regular delivery that the hospital doesn't have any spare bedrooms for those who aren't laboring naturally.  The person from my doctor's office who does the induction scheduling seemed sincere when she said that this is very rare and she can't really recall the last time this has happened.

On Wednesday, I will begin my 42nd week of pregnancy.  Two weeks ago my doctor gave me a laundry list of reasons why moms need to deliver before week 42.  You can google the stats yourself.  Plenty of moms deliver healthy babies for weeks after they are full term, but the risks are definitely greater.. I'm talking life-threatening risks here.

Tomorrow I go in for a nonstress test for the baby.  This is a test to see how she is doing at this time... oxygen levels and so on.  At this point, the placenta is starting to break down as well as some other issues... so we will see what happens.  I think that I read that the still birth rate doubles after 42 weeks.  Granted the stillbirth rate is tiny to begin with... but you don't want to read that it doubles... that's just scary.  So, while I will be 42 weeks on Wednesday, I will be OVER 42 weeks on Thursday... and may have to wait through the weekend and go into next week... which has me knocking on the door of 43 weeks.

Don't get me wrong, I do not want to be induced and I am willing to wait through this week... as I feel remarkably well actually... however, waiting through Sat and Sun and potentially NOT being able to deliver on Monday/Tuesday either... has me angry-beyond-belief.

I understand that women are actively coming in and giving birth.  I understand that the hospital cannot turn them away at the door.  Obviously, I am fine with that.  However, I truly believe that as of Wed/Thur of this week... my baby will be equally as needy and has waited her turn and is equally as deserving of a room and healthy delivery like every other baby.  It's really, really, really pissing me off {{sorry}} that some babies are being chosen over others.  And I am sure that I am not the only mom in this situation right now.  My doctor's office's scheduler told me that the hospital has anywhere from 0-5 induction spaces available on any given day and that there are 10 local practices trying to schedule for those spaces.  According to the scheduler, 0 {{z-e-r-o}} spaces have been available because the hospital does not have the beds because so many women are coming in with natural labor.  So, the rest of us sit and wait.  And, I am sure that some of these waiting moms probably/might have a riskier situation than I do. 

So, {{playing devil's advocate here}} what if my baby is stressed tomorrow?  Then what... because they don't have a space for me to deliver.  Remember????? 

It is now 5:55 a.m. and the sun is starting to come up.  I'm gonna go eat some cookie dough - cookie dough always makes me feel better.