Monday, May 25, 2009

If You Give Your Husband Some Grapes

Yep - Dear Husband makes his own wine. While I am a big fan now, this took some getting used to. The first batch that he ever made was started in the basement and bottled at his brother's house. I wanted nothing to do with it. I mean, I felt like we were freakin' makin' moonshine out of our house. Then, Dear Husband bottled the wine. Then he brought it to give away as a hostess gift at a New Year's party (mortifying). Low and behold - he was the talk of the party. Everyone was interested in his wine. Who knew?

This time, I agreed that he could start a bigger batch and house it in our kitchen in the 5 gallon drum.

I feel like this whole process is like that book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

So, here is my version of making wine, written in the story style of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

If you give Dear Husband some grapes, then he is going to want to make wine out of it.

If you let him make wine then he is going to ask for some wine bottles.

If you give him some wine bottles (thanks neighbors) then he is going to want to rinse them.

If you let him rinse the bottles then he is going to want to super-wash and sterilize them.
If you let him wash and sterilize the bottles then he is going to want to fill them.

If you let him fill the bottles then he is going to want to cork them.

If you let him cork the bottles of wine then he is going to want to store them.

If you let him store the wine then he is going to want Napmom to create some cool labels for them. (I'm working on that part.)

If you let him label them, then he is going to want to... drink it all?????

Funny story = I told complained to Dear Husband that this is the most redneck thing I have ever done. Then we started talking about the corker machine (pictured above). He said that it reminded him of the machine that you use to make bullets. He was kinda saying this in a way the insinuated that I wouldn't know what he was talking about. I assured him that I had, in fact, made bullets before and I knew what the machine was like. He replied, "Oh really? You've made bullets? Then this is far from the MOST redneck thing that you have ever done... I mean... if you have made bullets before." Whatever.


Grand Matriarch said...

So I guess you come from a redneck family??? Your grandfather made his own beer for many years (home brew).. Your great grandmother made "bathtub gin" back in the 1920s.. Your grandfather made all of his own bullets.. Your great grandfather even made ammunition for the highway patrol and when the insurance folks found out about it they canceled his home insurance.. and it never did blow up!! And we lived next to the "little old winemaker" (Uncle Durwood) who made the best wine ever!!! Your hubby fits right in...

Nap Mom said...

I'll tell him what you said - he'll love it. This is fabulous information.

mimbles said...

Hmmm, my hubby has both made his own bullets and brewed his own beer and I suspect mead and wines are on the to do list but redneck? No, that just doesn't fit - he's geek all the way through :)

Actually, home brewing is almost yuppie here, I wonder if that's because we never had prohibition?